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Don't run through the girls bathroom
My first year at college I went to a big university. They had all these crazy old dorm buildings. A few days after I got there I was following these girls through one of the weird dorm buildings and they cut through the girls bathroom. If I went around I wouldn’t be able to find them. The girls said the coast was clear so I ran through. It seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do. Well the manish dorm nazi on the other side of the bathroom didn’t think so. I was put on probation, and required to write a two page typed paper on why boys shouldn’t go through the girls bathroom for them to post in all the bathrooms.
I was not to pleased about the idea, but I sat down to write it and realized something very important. There are some things in life that are nearly impossible to write about and not hate your self. Explaining obvious statements is one of them. I wrote whatever the hell came into my mind for five minutes, ran it over to the dorm nazi and forgot about it. I later learned that they never posted it. I guess it was not exactly their cup of tea. When I left the university that spring I found the dorm nazi and asked if she remembered my essay. She did. She also reluctantly admitted that it was funny. Here is what I wrote.
Why it’s not cool to run through the girl’s bathroom at school(if you’re a guy)
It’s not very kosher to run through the girl’s bathroom at school if you are a guy. Well, any bathroom or restroom that is specifically designated for woman. By kosher I don’t mean Jewish dietary laws, mostly because that wouldn’t much sense. I just mean it’s not cool. Running through the girls bathroom if you are a guy if just one of those things that’s just like duh, don’t do it. However, just writing duh, don’t do it won’t fit my punishment of two pages. Well, I guess I could just write duh, don’t do it over and over again, but then everyone would get mad at me and I would have to write this stupid paper all over again. Anyway I’m done rambling for the moment and I’m going to get on topic. The whole point of this paragraph is to say that there is more of a reason to not go through the girls bathrooms and I’m going to try and explain it.
First off, emotional stability for all those involved. Just think about it. You’re a girl, stressed out about a test you had that day, some idiot guy you’re dating said the wrong thing and you realize the jeans that make your butt look good don’t fit you any more because you gained eight pounds. Basically you’re stressed and burnt out. You want to relax and take a nice hot shower. You get all ready, put on your robe, go to the bathroom, and as soon as you drop you’re robe some jackass comes running through the bathroom screaming hooting and hollerin’ like an idiot. Basically you are going to freak out. Asking yourself all sorts of questions in the millisecond that he streaks by. Who is he? What’s he going to do to me? I took self defense, could I kick his ass if he tried anything funny? Where’s my mace? These are some of the questions you might be asking yourself.
I was that jackass. I ran hooting and hollering through the girl’s bathroom. Luckily there wasn’t anybody in there, but if there was it could have been really psychologically damaging. You don’t think about it, but there is a sense of security there that only members of the same sex can come into the bathroom. It let’s you relax a little more, and feel more comfortable. I am well aware of this because I used to not have any doors to my room or bathroom. It makes you really paranoid walk in on you naked dancing around you’re room with a stuffed elephant.
I listed some things a girl might be thinking in that situation. Can you guess what I was thinking? That’s right, not a damn thing was running through my head. That’s why I did it. I am not some big pervert trying to see naked woman. I’m just not the sharpest tool in the shed, or the brightest crayon in the box.
Oh yeah, and in addition to mental, emotional, psychological damage, and the possibility of getting maced. Although I don’t know many girls that carry cans of mace to the bathroom. Well, then again if more mentally challenged people such as myself keep running through girls bathrooms they might start to carry some. There are laws against running through girl’s bathrooms. So, in conclusion, don’t do it, duh.
I was not to pleased about the idea, but I sat down to write it and realized something very important. There are some things in life that are nearly impossible to write about and not hate your self. Explaining obvious statements is one of them. I wrote whatever the hell came into my mind for five minutes, ran it over to the dorm nazi and forgot about it. I later learned that they never posted it. I guess it was not exactly their cup of tea. When I left the university that spring I found the dorm nazi and asked if she remembered my essay. She did. She also reluctantly admitted that it was funny. Here is what I wrote.
Why it’s not cool to run through the girl’s bathroom at school(if you’re a guy)
It’s not very kosher to run through the girl’s bathroom at school if you are a guy. Well, any bathroom or restroom that is specifically designated for woman. By kosher I don’t mean Jewish dietary laws, mostly because that wouldn’t much sense. I just mean it’s not cool. Running through the girls bathroom if you are a guy if just one of those things that’s just like duh, don’t do it. However, just writing duh, don’t do it won’t fit my punishment of two pages. Well, I guess I could just write duh, don’t do it over and over again, but then everyone would get mad at me and I would have to write this stupid paper all over again. Anyway I’m done rambling for the moment and I’m going to get on topic. The whole point of this paragraph is to say that there is more of a reason to not go through the girls bathrooms and I’m going to try and explain it.
First off, emotional stability for all those involved. Just think about it. You’re a girl, stressed out about a test you had that day, some idiot guy you’re dating said the wrong thing and you realize the jeans that make your butt look good don’t fit you any more because you gained eight pounds. Basically you’re stressed and burnt out. You want to relax and take a nice hot shower. You get all ready, put on your robe, go to the bathroom, and as soon as you drop you’re robe some jackass comes running through the bathroom screaming hooting and hollerin’ like an idiot. Basically you are going to freak out. Asking yourself all sorts of questions in the millisecond that he streaks by. Who is he? What’s he going to do to me? I took self defense, could I kick his ass if he tried anything funny? Where’s my mace? These are some of the questions you might be asking yourself.
I was that jackass. I ran hooting and hollering through the girl’s bathroom. Luckily there wasn’t anybody in there, but if there was it could have been really psychologically damaging. You don’t think about it, but there is a sense of security there that only members of the same sex can come into the bathroom. It let’s you relax a little more, and feel more comfortable. I am well aware of this because I used to not have any doors to my room or bathroom. It makes you really paranoid walk in on you naked dancing around you’re room with a stuffed elephant.
I listed some things a girl might be thinking in that situation. Can you guess what I was thinking? That’s right, not a damn thing was running through my head. That’s why I did it. I am not some big pervert trying to see naked woman. I’m just not the sharpest tool in the shed, or the brightest crayon in the box.
Oh yeah, and in addition to mental, emotional, psychological damage, and the possibility of getting maced. Although I don’t know many girls that carry cans of mace to the bathroom. Well, then again if more mentally challenged people such as myself keep running through girls bathrooms they might start to carry some. There are laws against running through girl’s bathrooms. So, in conclusion, don’t do it, duh.
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