SEX

Today, I had an overdose of Sex In the City. After watching half a season of the first season, it occurred to me that maybe all of us are insecure.

Women are insecure when it comes to men and men are insecure when it comes to women.

We meet and then we pick everything apart. Does he only take me here or there so that I will not be seen by his friends? If I have sex with him on a first date, does that mean that it will never be a serious relationship?

Please, I can't believe that that show is about such things. Haven't we come far enough to know who we are and what we want? Does it matter if it becomes serious, if we are enjoying ourselves? I think not but it seems that there are still a lot of women out there who feel this way. Maybe it has something to do with age. The younger the woman, maybe the more insecure she is and for a reason.

Me? I am thankful to be older, wiser and know what I want or should I say expect in life. Not expecting anything is probably the best way to go. Then we do not become insecure about the relationship that we are in at the moment.

Looking back, I realize that yes, I suffered from those insecure moments in my life. Why is the question. There were always more than enough men to go around in my life. I never sat home on a weekend wishing that the phone would ring. So, I have to ask myself...why did I feel insecure? Was it an ego thing? Did I want to be the woman that all men adored? To be honest, I am not sure. Yet, I suppose that as the years tick by one of two things happens to women. We either become more sure of ourselves with or without a man in our lives, or we become very insecure because we feel that time is running out.

Most women but not all have an urge to have a child at some point in their lives. So, if that is the case, then it could be that they feel that time bomb ticking and know that if they don't make a serious connection soon, they are not likely to have that child that they seek.

Well, now, I do believe that I sound like Carrie in Sex In the City. Maybe, I need to go see the editor at the local newspaper. What ya think?

I am so happy to just be me with or without someone special in my life. I am happy to be able to come and go as I please, eat when I please and sleep when I please.

I suppose if I never make another wonderful connection in my life, that I can at least pick apart the realm of outer space and the life form that might exist there. I wonder if the female form on Mars has our worries?

Tags: city, in, insecurities, sex, single, the

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Comment by SassySweetBren on December 16, 2008 at 10:17pm: Insecurity comes with lack of knowledge. The lack of knowledge comes from inexperience. *******

Truer word have never been spoken Young. Young women like my sons g/f is into doing things her way which of course she has every right to do. However, when it comes to the well fair of my grand daughter, I think that a bit of advice from an older person should be taken.

However, like you said, she is insecure. Certainly not very knowledgeable but she thinks she is. I just hope that my son will have more influence over the care of the child. He was raised by me so, he does know a lot more than she does.

I am not meaning to come off like I know everything as I certainly do not. Age has taught me a few things that I love to share.

What concerns me is that he is wise beyond his years and I have to wonder if with all of her insecurities, if they will ever truly make a go of their life together.

Comment by Young Werther on December 16, 2008 at 7:06pm: Two living breathing UNPREDICTABLE creatures. What is he thinking, does she love me, does he like this ? How difficult it is to say what you mean or ask the right question without worrying or regretting it after. The innuendo, double or even triple entendre.

Insecurity comes with lack of knowledge. The lack of knowledge comes from inexperience. Can one see why people turn to the mystic side for assurance, it‘s great to have hindsight (or foresight). As one matures, one gains more experience, we can read between the (wrinkly) lines and crows feet, one can interpret facial expressions and little nuances.

I don't get the butterflies in the stomach any more, do you Bren ?

Comment by SassySweetBren on December 16, 2008 at 6:51pm: Diane, most young girls aren't going to listen to us older women. They think they know it all.

Like my youngest sons g/f. I try to pass on good info to her hoping to make their life better but she isn't into hearing me. Even my son told her that I was wise and she would do well to listen or ask me questions. Nope, that isn't happening.

However, yesterday when I noticed that she was giving my grand daughter chips to eat for a snack, I told her that she needed fruit instead of wasted calories because everything that goes into the mouth of that child should count for something. Little ones need food to build their little bodies.

What did she come back with? I don't think it hurts.....and life goes on.

Comment by GrannyDiane on December 15, 2008 at 1:13pm: You wrote "Not expecting anything is probably the best way to go." I agree. When I married Tony I went into it without any expectations. At 38, I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be expecting, anyway. All I knew is I did not want to be the kind of wife I grew up seeing. So because of not having certain expectations, we had the best relationship and marriage. When Tony did things for me, like filling the kitchen with balloons one birthday for me to find when I woke up, I was very surprised and happy. He did nice things for me because they were not expected.

I tried to explain that to a couple of young girls I knew at work, who were crying because their husbands quit giving them flowers and such after they married. They gave me the strangest looks and avoided me after that. But I still believe it was the best way to go, and I still suggest that bit of advice to people when I can.

Comment by SassySweetBren on November 13, 2008 at 8:14am: Standing appalling Geenome. That was a tough thing to do...letting the girl go because she had such a bright future. One never knows when they let someone fly, if they might come back...kind of like a homing Pigeon. :)

Ponzi, you are so right. I personally think that being secure in who we are comes with age. Being in our twenties is like the learning experience...we learn, hopefully grow, make mistakes and again hopefully learn from them. Then when we hit thirty, we have more confidence sometimes by just looking back.

Who said getting older is a bad thing? Let's slap them. :)

Comment by Geenome on November 11, 2008 at 12:35am: Very valid point there Beard. We are all insecure about something at some stage of our lives but we all get through it one way or another.
I've been guilty of killing a relationship before it had a chance by overthinking the future. And I've kept some very good girl(friends) as friends because of it.
And then again there's one girl who was one of my very best friends, of whom I fell in love with her and I couldn't tell her as she had a very bright future in her career. So I kept it as friends. She has become very good at what she does.

An idealistic romanticism is possible if you allow it.

Comment by The Beard on November 10, 2008 at 10:50pm: from the opening sentence i groaned at seeing sex and the city but was pleasently supprised to find out this post wasnt some boring over thinking blog topic about "will he respect me in the morning".

i suppose everyone deals with insecurities and the way most get over them is by reassurance from others, it could be that a large population of women feel a growing pressure to be beautiful that they end up over thinking relationships ultimately killing the "magic" that they are after.

i agree with you in living in the now rather than what it will be, taking a relationship for the ride is usually more fun than predicting the outcome from the first 5 minutes.

i dont claim to be a ladies man or anything but i find that with most women all you need to do is make them feel wanted and in a way i guess everyone really wants to feel a bit wanted.

in summery i think everyone feels alone sometimes and wants a special person to always be there to comfort and care for them, i myself am not sure if such a idealistic romantic thing exists but it sure is fun searching for it.

Comment by SassySweetBren on November 10, 2008 at 8:30pm: How wonderful to have one man's point of view.

Comment by Dana Alcala on November 10, 2008 at 6:01pm: TV is TV. Real life is real life. With that said, I, too, have dealt with insecurities in my past. No matter the outcome, it always boils down to one thing: Nonsense! Whenever you feel insecure, all you have to do is say, "This is nonsense!" We are worth what we think we are worth. What other people think doesn't matter. We are born alone and we die alone; we should be dealing with what is happening within ourselves, rather than worry about where we stand within society.