Any advice for getting a girlfriend?

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Permalink Reply by GrannyDiane on December 1, 2008 at 12:59am

I agree with Severne, be yourself. Don't try to be a different person than who you really are. If you do get the girl, how long would you be able to keep the pretense up? Bren said it all. Good advice.
Remember, the girl is probably just as nervous and insecure as you are. She may not show it, but she is. I always try to think of how I like someone to talk to me, to behave toward me, to treat me. Everyone likes kind words. Everyone likes a smiling face. You treat people the way you want to be treated.
But I say do not feel you need to rush into any type of relationship too fast. Just being friends is a very good start. Get to know each other as friends before trying to be girlfriend/boyfriend.

Permalink Reply by SassySweetBren on December 1, 2008 at 1:11am

Granny, you are dead on target with the comment about being friends first. Having a great friend can be more important than having a girlfriend. Besides, sometimes our greatest friends become either our boyfriend or g/f.

Permalink Reply by GrannyDiane on December 1, 2008 at 2:17am

Yes, my husband was my best friend. That's why we had such a great marriage. We knew each other and were friends before we became seriously involved.

Permalink Reply by Tyler on December 1, 2008 at 1:35am

You already broke the first rule, don't sign up for a geeks account.

Permalink Reply by TyphoidKitten on December 1, 2008 at 2:00am

Don't.

Permalink Reply by TyphoidKitten on December 1, 2008 at 2:18am

This is epiclly true.

This has happend to me 3 times(Physics, what a time to talk). That small bond that turns to friendship.


And if your good at giving advice be ready for talking
...i can still hear the voices....

Permalink Reply by Martin Forsyth on December 1, 2008 at 4:38am

Cmon thats simple!
I mean to get the right girl, all you gotta do is be yourself.... i mean, you could play about being all gangster, coz that what you see other people doing - but face it, if she does get with you, she won't be with you.... she'll be with a wanna-be gangster, right? So rahter stick with being yourself.
Another thing is to relax.... i mean, it's only a girl, not a monster out to kill you..... try to show off your better qualities. if you have a great smile, then show it off - but that doesn't mean grin the whole time as though your high.... also don't try and tell her your life story all at once.... listen a bit to what she has to say, comment to it, so she knows your listening...
remember most guys fall flat coz they ain't confident - tho don't be over-confident, coz then she's gonna think you some player, out to eat her and leaver her....
Most girls enjoy a guy that is charming, funny, and an overall good guy, coz they know he might just be the one - not like all those other jerks.....

Permalink Reply by Mohamad on December 1, 2008 at 6:06am

just be ur self and take time on having fun

Permalink Reply by Annie K on December 1, 2008 at 7:45am

Ok - well it depends on how old you are...if you are 18 or under, just relax and be yourself. When you are comfortable with yourself and confident that makes you attractive.

Permalink Reply by LupineDream on December 1, 2008 at 8:35am

I am hearing over and over in this topic that the general idea is to be honest, but not brutally honest IMO if you are just getting to know a girl and you're already discussing very personal things, you may scare her away she might think you are some kind of psychopath, --is why the reason why you shouldn't read books that have the idea that there is a 'method' to get through to a female and that all females act the same and these books heartlessly treat females as objects and several posts along this topic line have disgusted me.

Be yourself. Be considerate, be kind, don't lay it on thick so to say I mean don't come on to quick. Be casual, be secure of yourself because once that happens, people will come to you. Don't go looking for it because most times that happens you make yourself out to be an idiot. I found that the ones I most treasured in life came to me seeing how I was a nice person and started conversation which eventually over time turned into friendship.

There's no sure-fire way to talk to a female or date a female because like all people they are different. Confidence in yourself is the only way to gain friends or...taking it to the next step, a girlfriend/boyfriend, and as in all relationships both of you should choose whether or not you want to be friends based on likes/dislikes/morals/etc./or things you have done and most of the time attraction just happens. If you force it, you could ruin a friendship completely. Feeling comfortable with each other as friends is the first major step. The more you prove yourself as who you are, AND IF she decides she wants to continue with it, there'll be signs. You'll know, because as a human you will pick up on these signs but as I said BOTH of you need to be comfortable with taking it into intimacy - having a relationship.

Don't work, work, work on a girl until she gets upset. She has feelings, so do you, but if her feelings are different, you have to realize that and keep it at friendship. Don't be discouraged if you fail the first five, ten, twenty, god, as many times as it takes the best thing to do is just live life and let the 'right one' - one who is comfortable with you come along.

I hope that came off right and not cynnical, I'm just trying to give advice. This is a touchy subject and hard to work with. People get upset... :/

Permalink Reply by Daniel Osborne on December 1, 2008 at 9:00am

Haha, I'd agree with GrannyDiane to be honest. At that age relationships are just things that get in the way, they often never last. (I'm aware there are some exceptions)

Permalink Reply by Ron Knights on December 2, 2008 at 7:11am

I don't think anyone should be in a hurry, no matter what your age. If we're in a rush, it's easier to make some big mistakes.

If you're still a teenager, I think it's important to be even more cautious. You still have some growing up to do, and your future is still ahead of you. You might want to go to college, etc.

I think any relationship should start with a long-term friendship. People need to know each other, and see if they're a good match, etc.

I'm 58 and shy. I haven't had many relationships, and have rushed into the ones I had.

I got married when I was 49, and that was a Rush Job. The marriage wasn't a good idea even though we apparently did care about each other. We just weren't a good match as a married couple.

I think the best way to find your potential "match" is just to go out there, and do things that you like. Be sure to get involved in social groups where you're likely to find many people your age.

Take care of your appearance. Make sure you're wearing good clothes, and well-groomed. Be polite and friendly in public. Concentrate on the activity, but be aware of those around you. Be open to introductions, etc.

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